Evans
Grief is an emotion that everyone experiences. Grief is often a reaction to the loss of a loved one, but grief can also be a reaction to other types of loss as well (employment, stable housing, security, close family and friends due to relocation, abilities due to a decline in physical health or cognitive functioning, etc.).
The central theme to grief is loss. Grief often includes emotions such as disbelief, heartache, sadness, despair, guilt, fear, confusion, anger and longing for what life might have been had they not experienced the loss. But amid grief, individuals can also experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The latter may be harder to feel, but because of the Holy Spirit these are just as present in our grief.
Jesus demonstrated grief when He wept over the death of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35).
Despite Jesus knowing that Lazarus would live again (both physically and spiritually) Jesus still wept for the loss of His loved one.
Scripture highlights other moments during which Jesus grieved. In Matthew 26:36-46 we can read of Jesus grieving in the garden of Gethsemane. We can look to this Scripture for more guidance on what we can do during our own moments of grief.
Jesus acknowledged that grief can be overwhelming. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus stated that He was “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” Jesus was grieving the physical pain that He was about to endure. Jesus knew that He was about to be tortured and crucified. Jesus was grieved by the sins of the world that He would carry to the cross. Jesus grieved the forthcoming betrayal of someone who had walked with Him daily (Judas Iscariot).
Jesus knew that he would be denied by those He loved. Jesus grieved the spiritual warfare that He knew His loved ones would endure and encouraged His disciples to be alert and to pray. Jesus told His disciple Peter, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Jesus knew the pain of loss that was about to come and desired for His disciples to be ready to withstand any trials faced.
Jesus sought fellowship amid the grief. Jesus knew the difficulties that He would face. Jesus knew the emotional suffering that He would bear, the physical pain that He would have to endure and the spiritual battle that was at hand. Jesus knew the loss that He was about to encounter and that others were going to experience. And while Jesus could have gone through this experience alone, Jesus chose to be with His disciples in the garden of Gethsemane.
While in the garden Jesus did not reveal His immense sorrows to every disciple present. Instead, Jesus selected a chosen few (Peter, James and John) to share the depth of His grief with and He asked those three to “keep watch with (Him).”
Why did Jesus choose to express His grief to those three individuals? What type of relationship with Jesus had these individuals cultivated so that Jesus would want them present in that moment? How can Jesus’ example in the garden guide us during our moments of grief? Who are the trusted brothers and sisters in Christ that you would want present with you during moments of immense sorrow? Have you followed Jesus’ example and asked them to be with you just as Jesus asked that of His trusted three?
Jesus emphasized prayer during times of grief. The power of prayer is emphasized throughout the Bible and this passage in Matthew is no different. Scripture tells us that while in the garden of Gethsemane that Jesus “fell with His face to the ground and prayed.” The Son expressed His grief to the Father.
If we are to be Christ-like, we must remember to express our grief to God. Just as grief tries to isolate us from others, grief also tries to isolate us from our
Heavenly Father. It is common for believers to experience feelings of anger, anger that God allowed this loss to occur. It is common for believers to experience feelings of abandonment or being far away from God. But the reality is that God is with us always. He is listening to the prayers of His children and desires a relationship with us.
Give grace to others who fall short of your expectations. If you have ever experienced loss, you will understand that at some point during the grief process those you love will fail to be present.
They may forget to acknowledge a significant date associated with the loss. They may fail to call as often as they once did. They may appear to have moved on while you are still heavily burdened. When others fall short of your expectations, remember the grace Christ extended to His disciples in the garden of Gethsemane.
The disciples loved Jesus, and Jesus loved His disciples. But in Jesus’ moment of immense sorrow those closest to Him failed.
Jesus expected His disciples to keep watch, but His disciples succumbed to sleep.
Three times in the garden Jesus asked His disciples to keep watch and three times He returned to find them sleeping. Though His disciples fell short, Jesus in His sorrow extended grace.
So, in our sorrow, may we remember to continue extending grace to our fellow Christian. B&R — If you want to learn more about how to help a loved one who is experiencing grief, a previous B&R article may be of help: baptistandreflector. org/three-ways-to-help-those-battling-grief/.
