Jay Barbier
This morning as I opened up my Bible Study, I noticed I was yet again back in the book of Job! I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this book for a long time. It seems as if every time I find myself in this epic story of suffering, I’m also in a tough circumstance. I had to remind myself that I don’t believe in superstition or any mysticism. Hear me out through this, maybe it can help you as much as it’s helped me.
The summer of 2003, Natalee and I were preparing for the birth of our second child to join us in October. The Lord kept burdening me and prompting me to dive deep into the book of Job in the Old Testament. I absolutely loved this book and the heartbreak-to-redemption story that it presents.
As I studied the text, I thought the Lord was teaching me about pure worship. But after my daughter was born, I immediately thought I was about to lose her. I figured the Lord had me dig in to Job to help me better understand the loss of a child since Job lost his children.
But what I learned was the book is more about TRUST. Was I willing to praise my Jesus in the toughest times? Or would I throw my fists in the air and curse my God? I chose to praise my God through the storm of having a child with special needs and almost losing her and spending nine days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The Lord taught us so much through this circumstance.
Fast forward to the spring of 2021, my small group at Belle Aire Baptist started walking through the book of Job. I was excited but reluctant because of what I had walked through years before. I enjoyed this story of trials and tribulations but was so glad I wasn’t living in the middle of a storm in my life.
Then September of 2021 happened.
This is when we found out I had cancer. Immediately after my diagnosis I thought, “I will never jump back in Job.” I kept thinking that I would avoid the book like a plague! I even told my pastor that if he preaches through Job, I would leave the church. There was no way that I was going to read through the struggle of Job, so I can go through a similar situation again.
And yet, the Lord allowed this book to soothe my soul again and again personally in my journey through this life. It is the story of truly worshiping God in all situations, good times and bad times.
This time, my circumstance wasn’t my child but a trial that I had to walk through. I anticipated boils, unwise council, and loss of so much.
What I found was the Lord never leaving my side! His faithfulness led me to places of great faith and a depth of love and mercy.
After two years and a few months, I found myself opening up the book of Job as I walked through a yearlong chronological Bible reading plan. I will be honest, I knew something was wrong.
I had a mass in my right lung and I was waiting for the doctor to order more scans and a biopsy.
I just knew the news would be bad because I was back in the story of ol’ struggling Job!
How would I react in yet again turmoil and chaos in my life? What has helped me the most is the intentional study of the Word of God.
It doesn’t pay to run away from God, to get mad at Him, or to abandon the One who is in complete control. I knew He was the One who has written my story. I TRUST Him completely.
Yes, I was scared and in a place of fear and worry. But the Word has taught me that He has a plan and a purpose. God faithfully walked us through another surgery to remove my cancer and another brutal battle through chemotherapy. God is faithful.
All these circumstances and situations have taught me some valuable lessons in this life. My favorite has been to enjoy this life that God has given me. Finding joy in the moment, seeing the beauty in His creation around me, and being present with my family every moment I can. My story isn’t over, The Lord has given me the breath of life each day and I’m trying my best to make much of Jesus as I go.
The scary thing is that I’m again choosing to walk through another year of the same Bible reading plan. It was like I completely forgot about Job and my struggles until I opened the pages this morning. But, I’m choosing TRUST. I’m choosing to believe in the fact that Jesus is the One who has numbered my days. I have no idea of what is it come with my health but I know the One who knows. God has given me an epic story of grace, hope, forgiveness, and healing time after time.
The struggles have brought me closer to Jesus than I’ve ever been. I’m making the choice to enjoy the book of Job and not interject myself into this story. It’s not about me but about Him. God still has a lot to teach me through Job and I will TRUST Him day by day.
What’s YOUR story?
Where is YOUR trust? B&R
