Focal Passage: I Peter 3:1-12
Submit is not a dirty word, but some Christians have tried hard to redefine it. As Jerry Vines said, “they use our vocabulary, but not our dictionary.” Ephesians 5:21 tells us we should submit to one another “in the fear of Christ.”
If our lives are guided by the worship of Jesus, our attitudes should match. Instead of fearing that we will be disadvantaged, we live by the conviction that God’s way of doing things is the best way to them, even when our flesh stages a protest.
Peter makes it clear to wives that submission means more than following the leadership of their husbands. While recognizing the husband’s call to be the spiritual leader of his family is critically important, it can be done superficially by a wife whose heart is filled with resentment.
When a wife renders submission to God as an act of worship, she wants to display a submissive spirit even when her husband is temporarily absent, or spiritually lost. Her pure and reverent life (I Peter 3:2) may lead him to faith in Christ, because it is reflected in something more than church attendance. Although going to church is vitally important, bringing church home and applying it to daily life proves her worship is real.
Rust
While I do not think that Peter condemned a well-dressed wife, he did make it clear that biblical beauty cannot be purchased and donned like a hairstyle, clothing, or jewelry (vv. 3-4). When beauty is wrongly understood, people wonder what is being compensated for by the overdressed, underdressed, or over-made woman.
To further drive home his point, Peter noted that the submission he described was demonstrated by holy women of the past “who put their hope in God” (v. 5). Notice their hope was notice in marriage or self-confidence, but in the God who made them. These women understood that a husband could never make them whole, and that marriage was a gift from God to further their sanctification.
When Sarah was told by the Lord that she would give birth to a son in the next year, she laughingly replied, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I have delight?” (Genesis 18:12). When hearing that her husband, who was “as good as dead” (Hebrews 12:12), would father her son, she could have dismissed him as an impotent old coot. Yet, even in her laughter, she honored his leadership.
To keep us from a one-sided view of submission, Peter made it clear that a husband must have a submissive spirit toward his wife. Although he is the spiritual leader, he must live with his wife “in an understanding way” for two reasons: she is the weaker partner, and a coheir of God’s grace (I Peter 3:7). He must submit to the needs presented by her physically weaker frame, and not treat her like one of the guys. He must also respect her as a fellow Christian who is made in God’s image, gifted by His Spirit, and living for His glory.
In summary, both husband and wife must serve each other to demonstrate Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). B&R
