By Connie Davis Bushey
News Editor, Baptist and Reflector
CROSSVILLE — “Sixty-five percent of all Christian men look at pornography weekly. This is an epidemic in the church,” said Andy Loomis, a therapist of Cumberland Plateau Baptist Association based here.
“And it’s hard to approach because most men will not tell their pastors because they’re afraid of how they’ll be looked at. … Nobody wants to talk about it.”
Of course, the main person they are hiding it from is their wife and then their family and God, he reported.
Many men are leading two separate lives, said Loomis. And even Christian men can do this because viewing pornography is “minimized” by society though they are living a life filled with sexual fantasies and lust. Porn also is readily available, just “one or two clicks away on the computer” in every home, he added.
Viewing pornography certainly is an addiction, said Loomis.
“I know it’s an addiction. You can’t stop.” He knows because he once had the addiction, he admitted.
“When they’re mad, frustrated, sad, or stressed they turn to porn. They’re self-medicating. Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, pills. They turn to porn.”
Loomis is a former pastor who leads support groups for men using porn. He also counsels men using porn as a Christian therapist and has done this for about five years.
“I’m personally invested in this.”
He said one reason he gave it up was to save his marriage.
The devastating part of pornography is that research shows that people’s thoughts transported in the brain by neurotransmitters, if repeated, can build “lust in our brains.” The repeated pathways become deep and even could be called ruts so the repeated thoughts are natural, explained Loomis.
Men using porn need to admit it to their wives, he continued. He doesn’t require men in his support groups or his clients to admit their use of porn publicly.
“They love their wife and there’s no conflict of interest until their wife finds out.”
If they will admit it and give it up, they will find intimacy with their wives for the first time, he said.
Yet giving up this addiction takes time, he explained. Pornography develops fantasies and those thoughts will run “through your mind at prayer time and in worship. The devil will bring it to your mind.”
But if a person opens new neuropathways, it is harder to return to using the old pathway.
“God is awesome,” said Loomis.
What helped him as he worked basically by himself to overcome his pornography addiction was the Bible and the book, Be Ye Transformed, by Nan Missler.
God promises Christians that they can renew their minds and learn “how to be transformed, to walk in the spirit,” noted Loomis, referring to Romans 12:1-2.
People using porn “can overcome it through the mind of Christ. If you change your thoughts, you change your life.”
Of course, God also promises Christians that they will comfort people with the comfort of the Lord, said Loomis.
Many men come up with excuses for why they shouldn’t give up using porn, he said. He can relate to that too. From his experiences, most began viewing it when they were boys. The longer they use it, the “harder and harder porn” they need to satisfy.
Christians need to learn how to change their thoughts by “keeping every thought captive,” Loomis explained. He referred to II Corinthians 10:5 — “… taking every thought captive to obey Christ.”
In the support groups he leads, the men learn how to do this. All attendees can remain anonymous and what they say will remain confidential, just like other support groups.
Accountability is a big factor for men caught up in this addiction, he added. To help them, Loomis provides a computer program which tracks their computer use and reports it to Loomis.
“Someone in the group or I will hold them accountable. … So there are no excuses,” he said.
He also offers a porn hot line which he answers. Loomis said people in any location in the world can call him at 931-337-7072.
Certainly for him, he is being blessed by God since giving up porn use and is especially enjoying a new relationship with his wife, he explained.
What he has been through has “changed my life. …
“Pornography is horrible.”
