By Lonnie Wilkey
Editor, Baptist and Reflector
lwilkey@tnbaptist.org
Tony Rankin, shown here leading a conference in Gatlinburg, was one of the featured “breakout” speakers Tennessee Woman’s Missionary Union’s annual Get-Together.
FRANKLIN — It should come naturally for Christians, but showing forgiveness and mercy is not always that easy, says Tony Rankin, a licensed therapist and minister of pastoral care at First Baptist Church, Nashville.
Rankin led breakout sessions on both topics for Tennessee Woman’s Missionary Union’s annual Get-Together which was held virtually earlier this year.
Sometimes people, Christians included, don’t feel like forgiving, Rankin said.
“It’s not as easy as saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ Staying stuck with trauma or injustice makes it difficult to be compassionate or desirous to be ready and willing to move forward,” he noted.
Rankin observed that everyone is capable of being wounded or hurt by others. “No one that you know has been free of being hurt.”
He added that research shows that not forgiving decreases the person’s ability to be intimate on any level.
Forgiveness is not just a feeling that comes over a person, he continued. “Forgiveness is a process.”
The lack of forgiveness “will kill you,” Rankin stressed.
He observed, however, that forgiveness does not mean you will forget what the person did. “When conversation begins about a past hurt, listen, then talk,” he suggested. “When you are reminded that you offended someone, avoid being defensive and let them talk. Usually, that’s what they need instead of you trying to ‘fix something,’ ”
Rankin encouraged Christians to model what it means to be forgiven and to forgive. “Everybody is watching — your church, your neighbors, your enemies, your children, your grandchildren.”
Rankin said Scripture is full of expectations and reasons which indicate the need to forgive. See Proverbs 10:12, Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13.
He noted that Corrie Ten Boom once said, “Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”
In another session, Rankin focused on mercy. Matthew 5:7 reminds us, “Blessed are the merciful,” he said.
He noted that everyone at one time or another has done something that may have hurt someone else. “We all have said something we wish we could take back or pushed ‘send’ on a text or e-mail that we wish we could retrieve, or have falsely accused someone of something,” he observed.
“Love is a feeling; mercy is taking action. “It goes beyond just recognizing the happiness or sadness of others. Sometimes it means putting your arms around someone and saying, ‘We are going to make it through this.’ It may mean saying, ‘What can I do to show you that I care. ’ ”
Rankin cited lessons of mercy that can be learned from the parable of the Good Samaritan, found in Luke 10:25-37.
• Give up some of your time for somebody else.
• Love those who may never give back to you — the poor, the manipulative, the selfish, etc.
• Know that your position at church does not give you the right to walk past pain.
• Drop your judgment, especially when it comes to race or ethnicity.
“Demonstrating your sensitivity to other’s emotional and spiritual needs will confirm that God is present in your life and theirs,” Rankin said. B&R
